See You in a Porridge Guest Post

Hi everyone! Firstly I wanted to say a huge thank you to the incredibly sweet, gorgeous and generous host Shannon for letting me crash her place today. I blog about a whole lot of nothing over at See You In A Porridge, and I have an obsession with GIFs.

It’s no secret that I love a little shopping, and I’m sure I’m not alone. Online shopping is my bestie + my nemesis. There are plenty of good things about shopping in person at stores, however when I go I seem to be reminded of why I love online shopping just that little bit more. Because with me, real life shopping is a vicious cycle.

So normally the cycle starts a little something like this.

I make sure my husband is busy for a day (thank you, World Cup) and sneak set out with an idea of how much I want to spend (or rather, not go over).

Most importantly, I drag a friend or two along for advice and support. That’s what girlfriends are for right? If I don’t bring a IRL friend, I send texts to my bloggy friends of my fitting room escapades.

I normally start in Forever 21 because cheap. I walk in all confident like I’m not closer to 31 than 21 but the blaring music, some of the ridiculous clothes and the crap they say on them make less sense than I’d like to admit.

No but seriously, sometimes I look around and I’m like am I the only one this makes no sense to?

After I get passed the weird shit, I find some ok looking stuff and it’s all cheap! Then I see something that is like $30 and I’m like Forever 21 who the heck do you think you are? This dress is not worth $30.

I like Forever 21, some of their clothes are great and cheap. Some, not so much. So I eventually get a headache and leave the store. I will see you online, Forever 21 even though your return policies suck balls.

In other stores, I basically head straight for the sales or clearance racks. I don’t like paying full price (who does?) and I don’t want to fall in love with something I don’t want to pay for. But doesn’t it feel like a kick in the pants when you’re looking in the ‘clearance’ area and you see a cute top that’s not worth more than $15 and the tag says $50? That is ridiculous. I walk away from the so called sale feeling cheated.

When sales associates ask me if I need any help, I get all defensive.

On the same note, I don’t know what it is about me, but I always get asked something and I’m like I don’t work here! Stop talking to me.

Eventually I find some stuff to take into the fitting room. Why do stores still do curtains? Would it kill you to put a door in? I feel like everyone can see me.

I hate the uncertainty of taking things into the fitting room – sizing can be so different between stores and it’s a serious hit to the self esteem when your normal size doesn’t fit.

It’s like my personal challenge to get those jeans on when they refuse to budge. I jump around like I’m 15 again and in some awkward mosh pit, I pull and tug and then I hear a rip or the tag is in my hand. Oops.

If I got the jeans on, I succeeded. I walk out to show a friend and try not to show that these are possibly the most uncomfortable pair of jeans ever and I feel like a telletubby but the friend insisted so out I waddle.

Then my friend is honest, and why shouldn’t she be? She doesn’t want me to waste my money on something that does not look cute.

Except there is no method to my madness and it makes me sad and mad.

My friend (or sales associate) might ask if I need another size.

Speaking of, I hate when the sales associates give me their opinion. I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you, random stranger who wants me to spend my money.

Moving on.

On the other hand, you might find something amazing and it looks stunning and everyone agrees.

I feel like I won an award or something, like I did something great by finding something that looks cute on me. Thank you, thank you very much.

I’m about to walk up to the register to check out with my one very reasonably priced item and I see something out of the corner of my eye. I try to ignore it but it is pulling me towards it. I try to be strong…

But it is perfect. Do you ever see something at a shop and you know it is ‘so you’ and it’s perfect and you know it will be amazing and you’ll love it? That happens to me every time I go shopping.

 And then I see the price tag.

I can’t pay that much.

I try to walk away…

But I can’t walk away.. it called to me. And I would wear it all the time. Right? It’s an investment. It’s a smart purchase. And when was the last time I really bought something as a treat, for me?

Then I realise they only have one – one! – in my size. It’s fate. It’s meant to be mine, and if I leave it someone will steal it from me. I can’t let that happen.

I try it on, as a last measure – maybe it will look horrible and I will hate it. But nope, I feel like a freaking model.

And my friends agree, and the sales associate spins her well worded crap.

So I walk up to the register again, this time eyes firmly in front – nothing else will grab my attention. I get in the line before I change my mind. I get that ‘probably shouldn’t be doing this’ feeling as I’m signing the receipt.. you know the one.

I walk out feeling a mixture of pride, shame, happiness and determination to not shop for a long time.

But we both know..

Because at the end of the day…

Please tell me I’m not the only one…